New Year’s Transformation

This is the time of year when a fervor for self-improvement seizes me and I construct a lot of fantasies about the kind of sensible, healthy girl I will be by 2009. My New Year’s Resolutions follow — much the same as last year’s, and the year before, and 1998’s:

1) Spread joy and love. Meddle more in other people’s affairs, for their own good of course.

2) “Find nice, sensible boyfriend.” Absolutely no alcoholics or heathens.

3) Become very decisive. Become type of person who thinks one thing, knows what she thinks and refuses to dither. Or just think one thing.

4) Become sober financier. Stop making frivolous H&M purchases. Make shrewd investment in some sort of high-paying thing. Learn how to balance a checkbook. Or marry accountant.

5) Become vegan. Cleanse body of foul toxic traces of all processed foods. Or stop consuming fattening sandwiches purchased with chip bags and soft drinks at nice greasy delis.

6) Develop some sort of attention span lasting longer than 25 seconds. Begin by sitting through anything longer than Sex and the City.

7) Start writing book. Something epic.  Or publishable.


~ by stultiloquence on December 31, 2007.

3 Responses to “New Year’s Transformation”

  1. “Cleanse body of foul toxic traces of all processed foods.”

    The legacy of SAGA?

    Don’t worry…I don’t have all that great of an attention span any more either.

  2. Your 2 was my 4.

  3. What can I say? I totally have my priorities right.

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