Gregory’s Coffee

I have a New York coffee shop.

I chose my coffee shop not for the chic cappuccino art gracing its walls but for its number of chairs and free wireless Internet. To get to my coffee shop, I walk down Fifth Ave., forgoing the Sample Sales and Museum of Sex, to 26th Street where I cut through Madison Square Park to 24th and Park Ave. Total time: 14 minutes, 47 seconds in warm weather and about 30 seconds in the withering cold.

My coffee shop serves delicate sandwiches — about the size of my littlest finger — for approximately $25.33. A sip of soup: $28.16. An all-natural organic strawberry and banana soy granola smoothie with a shot of wheat grass: $45.28.

My coffee shop mostly serves me and the Suits, although once I spotted an Artist with a beautifully tattooed posterior. (You ask how I knew that his booty was tattooed? Don’t.) The Suits flood the shop in seas of Brooks and Brothers blue, and today I saw a dozen of them caper out of Credit Suisse in matching shirts and Suitish grins. Sometimes Pants and Skirts Suits have what looks like flirty lunch dates, but which are probably serious discussions of the things Suits discuss. Three of the Suits and their odd un-Suited friend bring a chess set rolled up in a paper bag and challenge one another to manly feats of chess dexterity.

I’ve spent many hours in my coffee shop composing journalistic magnum opi, and even more, even pleasanter hours sending Facebook messages. This I consider the greatest advantage (besides that of conducting telephone interviews in a towel – next to which all advantages pale) of freelancing my life away.


~ by stultiloquence on December 3, 2007.

7 Responses to “Gregory’s Coffee”

  1. ::shakes head::

    Woman, get thee to Joe: The Art of Coffee. It will require riding the subway but it’s well worth it. Amy Sedaris makes their cupcakes. How can you resist cupcakes made by celebrities? 😉

    (I will take you!)

  2. I could sit at coffee shops all day.

  3. I’ve found some good spots here in Scottsdale. There is a cafe called Soma that has a good grilled salmon sandwich. They also offer a bottomless cup of coffee and free wifi. The most exciting thing that ever happened, other than the time that they lost my lunch order, was the time when a couple nearly started making out on the couch ten feet away from me. The scary thing is that when they first walked in, I pegged them as a father/daughter. Thankfully, their food arrived and saved us all from further hanky-panky.

  4. When I’m in Portland, I swear by The Albina Press, mostly because they make the best lattes around [and have award winning baristas with cool tattoos and envious hair color], but partly because everyone in there is way cooler than me. There’s black and grey on every starving-artist-businessman form, lots of hip technology, and depressing semi-political art on the walls. I’m not sure why I like it so much; perhaps cause I’m also terrified as soon as I walk through the door? It’s kind of exciting. I’ll have to go there more often to solidify my reasons…

  5. also, wheatgrass is really good for you.

  6. Emily, I have another coffee shop like yours but it’s my Saturday coffee shop where I go to try to write a book every weekend. It has a lot of mohawked employees and morose art. It’s way cooler than my weekday coffee shop, which means it’s way more crowded.

  7. I love you! I like you! I miss you! I think you are cute!

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