Relationship Status: “It’s Complicated” with Facebook

One in four Americans (and 31% of singles) believe that the Internet could replace a significant other for a time.

I read this and scoffed. Then I realized my computer and I spend almost every waking minute together. We cuddle on the couch, watch movies and have regular coffee shop dates. I spend hours looking deep in my computer’s eyes. In fact, maybe my computer and I should have a little DTR. Maybe I should call it off with Facebook — or at least take a break to reevaluate where the relationship’s going!

But how can it be wrong when it feels so good? I’m a little smitten with technology. After all, in what day but today could you have so many deeply shallow relationships taking the place of one actual difficult one? In another age, you would actually know you were lonely. But today you can have instant connection to the lives — the snapshots, the status updates, the wall-to-walls — of hundreds of practical strangers. You can shirk living your own life and live vicariously through their so-much-more-interesting ones. And now that you can request mates and make (and accessorize) babies together on Facebook, why go to the whole messy bother of marriage, sex, pregnancy, labor, and diapers?

In all dead seriousness, though, there’s nothing wrong with those dating-the-Internet singles that a couple long walks on the beach and a little kissing wouldn’t fix fast. As much as I love my computer, I’d dump it if someone cuddlier showed up. Not that I don’t enjoy poking babies on Facebook! It’s just not quite the same.


~ by stultiloquence on November 11, 2007.

2 Responses to “Relationship Status: “It’s Complicated” with Facebook”

  1. I wish I could cuddle with you instead of with my computer. and I don’t know that kissing solves much of anything, but I will poke your facebook baby every day if it makes you feel better. I love you!

  2. Live vicariously through actual people in physical proximity. I don’t need Facebook and the like – I have deliciously complicated relationships right in front of me, none of them mine. Some of the thrills, none of the dangers.

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